Trying to branch out of our regular circuit, we made plans to attend the Feast of Friends event at Chapel Arts on Dunlevy Street. To get us in the mood, we wandered into Gastown to have a quick glass of wine. Popping into Diamond, we saw that it was packed and a seat at the bar was a pipe dream. Fantasies of flirting with the attractive barmen were dashed. It had taken us 10 minutes to opt for Diamond and now we were faced with the same process of finding another location.

As we stood outside the Irish Heather mulling our options over, the doorman approached us to convince us to come inside. When thinking of the Irish Heather, rainy Saturday afternoons and quiet Sunday evenings come to mind, and besides a quick cruise through the bar a couple of weekends ago, we had never considered it for a Saturday night destination. It was time to change our way of thinking. Plus, the doorman was absolutely charming.

After ordering two glasses of wine from the handsome older barman – you know, the one with the lovely faint lilting accent – we situated (actually, squished) ourselves into a corner of the front bar. The place was packed and we could hear a number of Irish accents. Ladies, we know where to find all the visiting Irish lads. Take note.

Walking back outside through the mass of people trying to get into the Blarney Stone, we were sent back in time to 1999 when the line had looked exactly the same. There’s not many places in Vancouver that have been able to retain the same kind of crowds for years on end – the Roxy and the Blarney Stone are the two that come to mind. I can never understand the draw to wait in such long lines while wearing itty bitty dresses. Is it really that great inside?

We finally arrived at Chapel Arts, which used to be a funeral parlour and still has a bit of a creepy vibe emanating from it. I’m sure it’s haunted.

We got a couple of very generous drinks and wandered through the rooms, which displayed various works of art that made you wonder what was going through the artists’ minds when painting. We also spied a station set up for people to get tattoos on site – located directly next to the bar. Great planning.

We hadn’t been wandering for long before WT ran into a man she had gone to university with. The three of us found a bench to chat on and we lost ourselves in conversation. He was one of the most extraordinary men I had ever conversed with. His thoughts on the universe, the law of attraction, healers and silence retreats completely captured my attention, those and his beautiful eyes. The kind of eyes that open up to a person’s soul. Craps… I’m being far too cheesy right now. But really, I couldn’t help but notice how much time he spent gazing into my eyes instead of WT’s. Despite the rather gaping height difference, connection had been established.

An hour had past while we talked (he talked, we listened, enamored), and we realized that we were missing the band and the burlesque. We made our way downstairs just in time to hear the band play their first chords. As we walked through the main room, I made eye contact with Crinkly Eyes, who seemed to appear in my path at the oddest times. I also spied, the guy from Soul Decision. Please don’t mock me because I actually recognized him.

Halfway into the first song of the very heavy music, we realized that it really wasn’t our cup of tea. We had outgrown our head banging days of 1994 and left our ear plugs at home. Old, you say? Nah.

Again, we were faced with the same decision… where to go next? We didn’t want to hit up the same places we always did. Somewhere new? We hadn’t visited Society yet, and it was on our list. It turned into the perfect decision because it was there that we ran into a woman we had wanted to share a drink with for quite some time. The universe had spoken. What turned into one glass of wine, turned into more as we got to know this sensational woman.

Being the only ladies standing at the bar, we were the obvious targets for a man to hit on. Heavily intoxicated, he latched on and, with his huge smile and wide eyes, tried to woo for our attention. Unfortunately for him, we weren’t there to meet men, we were making a new friend.

As the night wound down, it was time to say our goodbyes and call it a night. We have a feeling it won’t be the last time the three of us share a few cocktails. On our way home, we strolled through Glowbal for a quick surprise shot and a peek at some Superman undies. We can’t help but wonder what else is hiding in his underwear drawer…

WT spied a man wearing obscure glasses. Her current glasses fetish compelled her to pluck the glasses from his face and walk away with them on her own. She was in a sassy mood.

10 minutes later, we were waiting on the curb for a taxi. Glasses had been returned but Glassman had followed us out. The large number of drinks and consecutive shots I had inhaled over a short period of time (I never do shots) made me challenge him to a robot competition right there on the street. I think he was completely taken aback by the challenge, that or he thought I was a nitwit. Either way, he didn’t reciprocate the war and I won by default. Luckily, a taxi arrived at that exact moment and I didn’t have to lose any further iota of dignity.

The next day, I received a Facebook message from Glassman (apparently we had all exchanged details on the street) asking me out for a drink. I’m telling you, my robot moves are amazing.

My Lessons from a Bar Stool:

Lessons for the Ladies:

1. Eye contact is important. You can tell a lot from someone by just looking into their eyes when they talk.

2. When wearing 4″ heels, be sure to stretch when you get home. Unless you have someone to massage your calves the next day.

3. Sometimes the universe makes decisions for you. Don’t fight it.

Lessons for the Men:

1. If a group of girls are in deep conversation, almost nothing you can do will draw their attention away.

2. Tell stories about your life. I want to hear about the time you spent 10 days at a silent retreat, not what kind of protein powder you use.

3. Superman undies are not meant to be hidden. Reveal your secret identity.

-SA

If you enjoyed this Tale, you will also enjoy Whips and Kitties.

Image from here.

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