Have you ever found yourself in a scenario where three men you’re “dating” turn up at the exact same time and location? It’s as though you’re sending out a subconscious bat signal that they alone can see. If only Batman would respond to save me from such a conundrum.

I was spending my Thursday night at the Keefer Bar watching Sweet Soul Burlesque – the perfect scene for mischief to occur. My company consisted of girlfriends both new and old. A gaggle of girls with gimlets in hand, ready to holler our hearts out as clothes dropped to the floor.

While we sat there in anticipation of the dancing to commence, I received a beep on my mobile. “Coming by the Keefer. Are you there?” read the brief text. It was from Quinn, who I had stolen sweet street kisses from the previous Thursday. By sweet street kisses, I mean the kind that leave your lips tingling until dawn. I was looking forward to seeing him in anticipation of more lip locking.

The first delicious set came and went. Gazing out the window, my eyes locked with a familiar face. Not Quinn. It was Kris. Kris who I had recently had one of the best first dates a girl could ever have. One that left me floating home wondering if it had actually just transpired, or was part of my dreams. He is creative, soulful, and the kind of man who can quote Hemingway. I hadn’t seen him since that one mind blowing night, a night so personal that even I can’t write about. At least not yet.

I was happy to see him. Thrilled. Evident in the smile that was spreading ever wider across my face. But I knew that Quinn would be arriving at any moment, and in the back of my mind I was slightly panicking. How was I going to juggle two men in the same tightly enclosed venue?

Kris and I embraced with a kiss, his hand squeezing mine with knowing affection as though we were both in on a secret. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Quinn arrive, eyes scanning the room. Luckily, I was out of sight for the time being and evaded his searching pupils. As Kris departed to have a cigarette outside, I made a move to say hello to gentleman number two.

I was halfway across the room when I came face to face with Tom and Mike, a cheeky duo who I can’t help but unabashedly flirt with. Mike and I had gone on a date a couple of months prior at which I had dared him to don short shorts. He had surprisingly and admirably complied. The delectable date had ended with a midnight drive in his vintage Mercedes listening to Ray Charles and an equally delectable brief kiss on my door step. He was a catch, plain and simple.

Perhaps this evening had brought these three men together so that I could engage in a collective second date. Incredibly time efficient in a world where time is so precious. Or perhaps it was to further bring to light my diverse type of man. Each were polar opposites from the other. Different angles in a triangle – the creative, the salesman and the scientist. Sometimes I surprise myself with the range of men I’m attracted to. No one could ever call me picky.

Before I could make it to Quinn, who still had not seen me, the second act commenced. I found myself standing with Mike, who had his hand on the small of my back, and WT, who was finding the whole predicament far funnier than I. After a riveting Bhangra set by Cherry on Top that left everyone clapping, yelling and practically standing on their chairs, I checked my phone. Quinn was wondering where I and my lips were. Time to reveal myself.

He scooped me into a hug, mouth searching for mine, but I turned my head to only give him a cheek, hoping my dimples would satisfy instead. His quizzical expression told me dimples are not a substitute for lips. Shame.

Shuffling back to WT, I found her engaged in conversation with both Mike and Kris. This was getting sticky, yet very amusing. I put on my best smile to hide my nerves and joined in. While  it could be seen as a nightmare situation by some, I was enjoying the tension and attention.

The evening ended without any thrown punches, no tears, no hurt feelings. Each man was oblivious to the others involvement, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief as I left the Keefer solo yet smiling. Portfolio still intact.

My Lessons from a Bar Stool:

Lessons for the Ladies:

1. It’s perfectly fine to date a handful of men at the same time, but be mindful that you may run into all of them in the same place. Have an escape plan.

2. Kisses lit by a street lamp should occur on a regular basis. Remember, kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex. Sometimes kisses are all you need.

3. Conundrums aren’t always negative. Accept, adapt and reap the benefits.

4. It’s just as important to diversify your dating portfolio as it is your stock portfolio.

Lessons for the Men:

1. Accepting an obscure dare that may embarrass you just to appease a date will be impressive. Don’t be afraid to have a little fun and let go.

2. Appreciate the past as much as the present. Listen to Ray Charles and Frank Sinatra; read Hemingway and Kerouac. Culture is a beautiful thing.

3. Don’t be afraid of a little competition. May the best man always win.

-SA

If you like this Tale, you may also enjoy Inside Pandora’s Box.

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