On this particular evening, the moon was full and I was in a foreign city. Well, to me, Toronto is foreign to Vancouver. It has the energy and charisma of a big city. Vancouver is young. Sure, it’s stunning to look at, but where’s that life vein? In contrast, Toronto is buzzing with energy 7 days a week. How can I not love it?

My night started at The Drake Hotel with my partner in mischief, Taylor. An evening out with Taylor is guaranteed to be a little wild. She throws caution to the wind and twinkles with sass, don’t let her cherubic face fool you. She’s my favourite. But don’t tell the others.

We were greeted by a charming bartender who couldn’t take his eyes off Taylor’s décolletage, and appeared a wee bit flustered in our presence. There was more than one moment where we left him tongue tied. I have decided to blame our cheeky evening on the Brazilian Pepperpot cocktails, which are a medley of cachaca, jalapeno and agave. Dangerous. There should be a “Proceed with caution” sign on the menu. Everyone knows that cachaca makes you loopy, add some hot zest to that and an evening can quickly turn spicy.

The Drake is a hotspot in Toronto; expect Ryan Gosling types, horn rimmed glasses, quirky conversations and music that makes you bounce. On this night, the members of the house band were dressed up as geriatrics and playing covers by Elvis and Tom Petty. I’m going to stop here and note that any man who can cover Elvis well, pelvis thrusts and all, is a man after my own heart.

Just as the bartender was getting a bit too amorous with his hungry breast eyes, Taylor’s friends arrived and we escaped from his glances to the rooftop bar.

As Taylor and I waited for drinks, we were approached by three exotic men, one bearing a striking resemblance to the Prince of Persia, long wavy locks included. Naturally, I was into him. As we chatted about moustaches (the abundance of them in September, not November, in the bar), birthdays (according to Taylor it was mine this evening), and men who wear Cosby sweaters (yes, there was one in our midst), we discovered that two of these men were named Randy and Richard, Dick for short when the two of them go out together. Randy and Dick. Dick and Randy. Randy Dick? I couldn’t contain my giggles. I blame them entirely on the cachaca.

Before returning to our table of friends, Randy (Prince of Persia) surprised me with a birthday shot and asked for my number. Despite only being in Toronto for a few days, I could definitely squeeze a date in with him. I didn’t have the heart to confess that it wasn’t really my birthday, especially when he revealed that his was the next day.

It wasn’t long before I was dancing amongst the tables and talking to all of our neighbours. What exactly is it that Brazilians put in cachaca? I swear I only had three. One of Taylor’s friends, Mark, was enjoying the music as much as I was but his moves resembled Justin Timberlake, while mine were more parallel to a monkey in heat. We had barely spoken two words to each other, yet as he left the hotel he asked for my number. This would be the third number I’d given out for the evening. Did I forget to mention the bartender and my lip liner smudged number written on a napkin? Toronto was proving to be the land of opportunity.

Mark told me he would text later to let me know where they ended up. It was already 12:30am and I couldn’t imagine myself feeling the need to go somewhere later unless it was to the comfort of my borrowed bed. Did he not know that I was at least five years his senior and far more fragile in the wee hours of the morning than he? Oh how my mind can change…

Finally, we found ourselves on the cold sidewalk of Queen Street West, each of us ready to crawl into bed. We hugged our goodbyes and I sunk into the cushy leather seat of a taxi. My half asleep mind was jolted awake by the buzz of my phone. It was Mark. He was tempting me to his house with promises of Sportsnet, filtered water and blankets. He certainly knew how to woo a girl. It was such an endearing offer that I spontaneously agreed, and as luck would have it, my taxi was passing his street as I typed.

It turned out that I wasn’t the only one who had succumbed to the proposal – Mark’s friend Owen was also sprawled on the couch. Mark and I tepidly cuddled and watched the day’s sports scores. If anyone knows me, they will know that I don’t do sports. I’m far more interested in the length of shorts of soccer players than in the score. But I have to say, I was enjoying drifting off on Mark’s chest, mindlessly comforted by his hand stroking my arm. When Owen got up to use the washroom, Mark made his move and leaned in for a kiss.

I hate to say it, but the kiss was less than great. It felt like a 14 year old practicing kissing on his arm, and I wondered how old he really was. Poor guy. He asked if I wanted to go upstairs but I couldn’t bring myself to go until I knew exactly how old he was; plus, we truly had not spoken more than ten words to each other at this point. I asked him. Point blank. 21. Good lord. What was I doing there? Cradle robbing of this caliber was practically illegal in my mind (unless he’s got the upper body of a certain Taylor Lautner) – I had 10 years on him, double the five I thought I had.

The speed with which I gathered my things, called a cab, and feebly mumbled excuses about an early morning would have put Speedy Gonzales to shame.

Again, I found myself nodding off in the back of a taxi and jolting awake to the buzz of my phone. Text message. This time it was from a Vancouver friend who just happened to be in Toronto. It was 2am and I knew better than to believe that this was a “social call”, unless “social” begins with a “B” and ends in a “Y”. He was in a fancy hotel suite with friends and work people and wanted me to join for a night cap or indulge in a drive by kiss. I chose the latter. The hotel was on my way home and lip locks are my specialty.

I saw Trevor standing on the curb in his suit as my taxi rolled to a halt. He swiftly handed the cabbie a bill and coaxed me out of the car. Smooth. Drive through had turned into dine in. Trevor whisked me up to one of the top floors and into a den of despair. What I walked into was possibly the scene of a Hunter S Thompson story. Lines of cocaine ran along the sparkling marble counter amongst premium bottles of scotch, vodka, beer and mineral water. Two guys were passed out on the designer couch and four others were propped up on bar stools at the counter. In other words, it wasn’t my scene.

At the same time, I was curious to observe. The writer in me wanted to document this occurrence and ingrain it in my brain to reference back to. Let’s call it a character study. The ringleader of the crew was someone the boys looked up to as a mentor in their field. I knew him from the Vancouver circuit, had heard of his rough edges but hadn’t witnessed it until now. He spoke of a book he’s writing about his torrid history, truly a Hunter in the making. He also told tales of his history with gangs, his rise to redemption and the gun he sleeps with under his pillow. It was so far out of my normal socializing patterns that I was speechless yet compelled.

Three o’clock rolled around and I knew it was finally time to call it a night. Trevor escorted me down in the elevator once again and pulled me close for a goodnight kiss. Finally a brief kiss I could enjoy before I lay my head on my pillow.

My Lessons from a Bar Stool:

Lessons for the ladies:

1. Leave yourself open to the possibilities of the night. While some restrictions are the realities of responsibility, others are limitations on life.

2. Some drinks are stronger than others and may have to be capped at two or three before you get too sloppy.

3. Age is hard to determine sometimes. To avoid an awkward situation, discretely find out how old the object of your affection is.

Lessons for the men:

1. Learning to kiss on your hand will get you nowhere. Practice on real live humans and ask how your partner likes it. Practice practice practice.

2. Taking a respectable girl into a cocaine clubhouse will diminish your reputation. On that note, don’t do cocaine. You know what it does to your brain and your, ahem, appendages.

3. Yes, breasts are wondrous phenomenons, but there’s really no need to stare.

- SA

Who is your muse? What does muse mean to you?

There are many muses, for many reasons!  Generally, it’s the wonderment of possibility and existence. Whatever ‘it’ is that causes me to experience everything in the most vivid detail, then to step back and observe it all from outside of myself.  Whoa, deep.

Where do you find inspiration for your songs?

They find me Well the best stuff just comes mostly on its own and depends on where I’m at in my life.  My interests, I guess, and people and our ways. Simply the sum of all I believe, perceive, and experience – again generally.  There are a ton of other artists and songs that inspire me.  Too much to cover here, we’d have to have a real convo methinks!

What do you want the world to know about you?

1.  In private quarters, I like to smell like my grandma Donna – she died when I was six but I have memories of her singing, and taking me to the Sally Ann to buy flower dresses.  2. It feels really uncomfortable to not walk on the left of whomever I walk beside.  3. I’ve been writing a musical that probably won’t surface for quite a while. OH, and 4. I just recorded a slew of songs and started a project you’ll soon know about.  I’m excited, grateful, and proud of how the tracks came together.  Ya heard about Pouty Marlo? You will soon…

Biggest challenge you have faced as an artist?

Hm. Probably making peace with the fact that I’ll always move on quickly after making an EP/album, and that’s ok and the album is still as ‘me’ as it could’ve been at that time in my life. It’s a snapshot. It takes me a bit to truly appreciate a project I’ve finished, although I may be proud of it.  I guess when it’s been created, it’s no longer ‘mine’.  It’s typical to look back later and feel the appreciation because you’re not so close to it. 

Who would you love to collaborate with?

James Blake. Miles Kane. It would’ve been lovely to dance, act, and sing with Fred Astaire. AND Freddy Mercury would’ve been the ultimate.

Who would you want to write the book of your life?

Donald Spoto – he’s the most amazing bio writer and most rigorous, unbiased observer.

Best life advice you have received?

Others’ fears are not mine, and you gotta laugh goddamn it!

What do you do when you’re not performing or creating music?

Eating. Listening to music. Dancing. Prancing. Playing dress-up.  Reading – lots of reading.  Enjoying my friends. Drinking wine.

What makes you sing inside?

The joy of creating something that fulfills me.  Seeing people enjoy themselves. Aha moments. Cute Youtube animal videos. Nature.  

Do you get performance anxiety? If so, how do you overcome?

Yes. The only way is to go balls to the wall and forget myself. That, and I spin 5 times, jump up and down whilst saying ‘crackerjack’, and blink rapidly for 10secs before hitting the stage. Works like a charm.

Most memorable moment in your career?

Meeting Neil Young at 2am, walking his dog with his wife.  I suppose that’s not a ‘career’ moment but it was a life moment.

What is your all-time favourite song and artist?

Damn, you can’t ask me that! Jesus. Uh, that’s a toughie. I can’t pick just one. But, I do love Bowie’s ‘The Man Who Sold The World’. And, absolutely up there is Jeff Buckley’s ‘Lover, You Should’ve Come Over’.

What can’t you live without?

Baths and hand lotion. Fresh air.

You have one day left to live, what would you do?

SING at the top of my lungs, with amazing people and friends at the biggest concert I could find, then lie in a field and look at the stars.  Cuddle with a tiger in said field. 

Where is your favourite bar stool and why?

The Keefer Bar – Dani, the head mixologist is brilliant, and they do Apothecary drinks.  In LA, I love The Edison, it’s an incredible space.

Sassiest thing you have ever done?

I’ll have to save the all-time sassiest thing for the real bio F’real, it’s gotta wait. Um, I once threw a rock at a crocodile in Costa Rica. He didn’t really care.

What is your favourite instrument?

Voice then piano.

How did you know this was your passion and how did you find the courage to pursue it?

I had to, there was no choice. Everything else would make me go mental.  I get depressed if I haven’t sang (sung?) in a while.  Then everything that goes with the craft…there’s nothing better that I could choose to do.  Though I have many interests and I’d like to have the fullest life I can.  I just want to experience everything that thrills me. I basically get to be like a kid my whole life by doing this.

Top three goals you want to accomplish in the next year?

Can’t tell you. Here’s 3 others though: Grow out my hair.  Train for opera.  Learn spanish to some capacity. 

Lessons we learned from Chantel Upshaw:

1. Laugh your way through life.

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun. Be quirky.

3. When you’re passionate about something you can’t help but pursue it. There is no choice in the matter.

Listen to Chantel on her Soundcloud
Chantel’s Everything Must Change video
Chantel on Twitter
Chantel on Facebook

Read our other Interviews from a Bar Stool.

My invitation came from a gentleman who I had gone on one date with months earlier. The date had been full of laughter and mischief, but I didn’t feel the romantic rays between us and avoided the post-date kiss. While remaining friends after, I was surprised to hear from him out of blue with such an enticing invitation. Rob and I agreed to meet at the Cactus Club for a cocktail and banter. Our conversation has been known to leave those in earshot with mouths agape. Saying we enjoyed taking the mickey out of each other would be an understatement. Ok, we were flirting. Perhaps there was some chemistry after all.

I arrived at the restaurant before Rob and stalked the bar for a stool. There were only two available but they were separated by one dashing man. I was no stranger to this older gentleman. He and I have been playing a silent game of sorts for years. Neither of us has said more than two words to the other, merely speaking with our eyes. Our actions and stares were so intense and exaggerated that they would make for a phenomenal silent film. One feature that sets him apart is his proclivity to sit alone. I admire this trait but am also curious as to whether it’s by choice or if he’s lousy company.

Approaching one of the vacant bar stools I could feel the tingles going down my spine. We had never been in such close proximity and I willed him to finally speak to me. I felt his eyes on me as I perched, and the heat seeped up from under my collar like a furnace. Still no words. I refused to look over until he spoke.

Before the man had a chance to say hello, Rob crept up and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek. His boyish and playful demeanor was in such stark contrast to the mystery man’s refined poise which mirrored that of old Hollywood screen legends. Rob asked the man if he would mind shifting one seat down so we could sit next to each other. Rather than respond to Rob, the man looked me in the eyes as he quietly slid down the bar. His eyes were feeding the already burning furnace, keeping it roaring and raging. His gaze didn’t waver as Rob took the now vacant stool and started talking to me. I couldn’t shake the look.

I knew that the scarlet in my cheeks was taking over my body, and Rob instantly picked up on my flush. I quietly filled him in on my history with the man, and as I predicted Rob was intrigued like me. He also pointed out that Mr. Mystery wasn’t the only man staring at me. As I sheepishly looked around the circular bar, I noticed that I was in fact the only woman, and starved eyes settled on me rather than the menu. The temperature was getting warmer by the minute.

As Rob and I spoke our usual witty repartee, every so often I would lock eyes with Mr. Mystery. The way he was staring wasn’t even creepy. Intense, yes. Highly sexual, yes. Creepy, no. Our fixation on each other must have been apparent to the whole bar. There is no way our electricity was not felt by everyone. A smile finally escaped his lips, and I had to excuse myself to the washroom for some deep breathes. What was it about this man that made me tremble and redden in all kinds of nooks and crannies?

Returning to the bar, I found Rob speaking over Mr. Mystery to a newly arrived acquaintance. Again, the man just smiled. His presence was filling up the room. The dapper air and silent masculinity could have been bottled up and sold under Tom Ford. He was a man from decades ago, and I had never come across his kind in the flesh before.

Rob now left for the washroom and this opened up empty space between Mystery and myself. Except it wasn’t empty. It was charged with lightening made up of sexual tension and attraction. The moment I had been waiting for years to happen finally did and a hello escaped from his lips. Even that one simple word seemed to carry a weighted manliness reminiscent of Humphrey Bogart; it was so deep that I could feel it vibrating across the bar.

He leaned in so that his mouth was brushing my ear, “I’ve noticed you before. You’re very beautiful”. Cue swoon. From the tips of my toes and all the way to the ends of each strand of hair, the waves of yearning washed over my body. He held out his hand to introduce himself before settling back into his own space. When Rob returned, it was as though nothing had happened. The dreadfully boring state of normalcy had been resumed.

We left soon after and if it weren’t for a slow and calculated head nod from Mystery, I would wonder if I had just been dreaming of the interaction. I quite enjoy the relationship we have at the moment. Actual conversation may ruin the spell. It’s the insatiable yearning that is feeding the attraction, and my body now aches for the next brief encounter with Mystery.

Oh shoot. I appear to have lost my train of thought. Wasn’t this supposed to be a tale of Russian naval officers?

My lessons from a bar stool:

Lessons for the ladies:

1. Turn a date into a friendship. Just make sure it’s clear that you will not enter romantic territory down the line.

2. Let him speak first sometimes, no matter how hard it is to break the silence.

3. If you’re distracted by another while out with a friend, be honest about the cause of your dreamy state. You don’t want your friend to think he/she is a bore.

Lessons for the men:

1. Silence can be more impactful than words.

2. Drink alone. Don’t resort to your mobile to keep you company, and just absorb your surroundings instead, perhaps making eyes at pretty ladies.

3. Move slowly. It’s not necessary to force your number on a woman immediately. If you’ve already determined that you run in the same circles, wait until the next time before you approach. It will build the desire.

-SA

What were you doing prior to working at FLARE Magazine?

I started my career in Vancouver as a freelance writer. Among my various gigs, I was a columnist with the Vancouver Sun and the West Coast contributing fashion editor for FLARE. I moved to Toronto to become the beauty editor at Chatelaine. I left seven years later as the Executive Editor and joined FLARE as Editor-in-Chief.

Most important career lesson you learned early on?

I learned how important it is to recognize a great opportunity and then jump on it. I never waited to be invited to apply for anything. If I heard of an intriguing freelance job or full-time position or a great story lead, I was usually the first in line.

What has been the most difficult part of your career?

The most satisfying part of my job is managing a great team but it’s also the most challenging and has the most heartache. When the recession hit, I had to lay off some very talented colleagues. Those were some of the worst days of my career.

What is the biggest motivator in your life?

I’m motivated by seeing the final results of the team’s work in the magazine and online. I love seeing someone’s idea start at square one and then be improved by everyone else on the team – art, copy, editors.

Who do you turn to for inspiration?

I don’t turn to one particular person. I’m most inspired by my team. They give me ideas for style, music, pop culture – pretty much everything. I’m also inspired by my environment. There are few places more motivating / exhausting / exhilarating than Paris during Fashion Week.

In a world where “reality” tv promotes negative body image ideals for women, how is FLARE Magazine instilling positive messages to young women?

We help our readers edit all of the style messages they’re bombarded with and make it work for them. Expressing one’s own style is the most important message for us.

Being very active on Twitter, what is your advice for best practices?

Think before you tweet. What you type is a reflection of you. I never Tweet anything that I wouldn’t be comfortable seeing on the desk of Rogers president.

What is the most important aspect of a great first impression?

Confidence. I’m not impressed by a posturing fashionista dressed in head-to-toe designer labels. I always note a conversationalist who is compelling and engaging.

Who would you love to have an intimate dinner with?

I’d love to have dinner with Marc Jacobs. I think he’s fascinating and his career trajectory has been really impressive. He doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously either. I LOVE that.

On an evening you have all to yourself, what do you do?

Read magazines, seriously!

Where in the world would you love to live for a month?

That’s a tough one. There are so many places I’d love to live for a while. I guess I’d have to pick Paris, it’s my favourite city. I’ve been there dozens on times and never get tired of its beauty and richness.

Where is your favourite bar stool and why?

I like the Bar Hemingway at the Ritz Carlton and the courtyard bar at Hotel Costes, both in Paris. Both feel very decadent and the people watching is second to none – especially during Fashion Week.

What do you love and miss about Vancouver?

I miss the great outdoors in Vancouver – the fresh air, the mountains, Stanley Park. I used to meet friends and go for a walk. If I suggested that in Toronto, they’d look at me like I had two heads.

What book would you like to reread?

I don’t want to re-read anything. There are so many great books piled up by my bedside and on my iPad. Right now, I’m reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I’m a voracious reader. I’ll read everything from pop fiction such as The Hunger Games series to Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and the classics.

Top 3 favourite fashion trends of all time

Impossible! I love the classics – anything by Yves Saint-Laurent and Chanel, but it’s the one-hit wonders that make me smile. Shoes without heels – fantastic! Not that I’d ever wear them.

If you could only wear one designer’s clothes for a year, who would it be?

Impossible! That’s like picking your favourite child. There is a handful that I really love – Prada, YSL, Miu Miu – but I couldn’t decide on just one. Plus, it would bore me to death after one week.

What was your most star-struck moment?

Having dinner with Madonna during the Toronto International Film Festival in September checked off a major point on my bucket list. The Bay organized an intimate dinner to celebrate her new film, W.E., and I sat across from her. I’m a HUGE fan (I dressed like her when I was in school) and talking to her was just like catching up with a girlfriend from high school.

How do you give back to the community?

For the past few years, I’ve been on the committee of Suzanne Rogers’ Foundation to raise funds for children’s causes. This past year, we raised approximately $900,000 with a fundraising dinner and fashion show by Marchesa. The year before, we hosted a gala with Oscar de la Renta.

What is the most important message you want to send to women?

To be confident, to be yourself, to express yourself.

What three things would you like to accomplish over the next 5 years?

Launch Flare’s first iPad app, launch another magazine and travel to more places I’ve never been. Barcelona is one of my must-visit destinations!

Lessons learned from Lisa Tant:

1. Be yourself and be confident with who you are. You don’t need to put on airs to impress anybody.

2. When you fall in love with a city, keep going back to foster the relationship and learn all its mysteries.

3. Always be grateful for the people you work with. You can learn so much from those closest to you.

-SA  & WT

Lisa on Twitter
FLARE Magazine
FLARE on Twitter

Read more Interviews from a Bar Stool.

Photo credits:
FLARE Magazine cover: Max Abadian
Lisa in leopard print: Norman Wong
Lisa with Madonna: George Pimentel

Some people struggle with pursuing a passion, how did you come to realize that music was yours?

Somewhere between spending hours on the song order of my mix-tapes when I was 10 and playing along to Nirvana in high school on Friday afternoons until my fingers bled. (Jimmy quit. Joey got married.)

Have you always been musical? When was the first time you realized you could sing?

My mom says my brothers and I used to criticize her pitch when she was singing us lullabies as pre-schoolers . So I guess I started being musical early. Or maybe I just started being a dick early.

What has been the biggest inspiration in your life?

Probably a fear of failure and a need to prove myself to myself.

Do you have a mentor? If yes, what is the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from that person?

I have learnt from my father that it is okay to bloom late.

Do you have one person in your life that has completely changed the direction of your life?

No.

What has been your greatest accomplishment to date?

I’m pretty proud of this new record (“Bruise”). And I’m not just saying that to, you know, promote it, etc. It feels like the most fully realized artistic thing I’ve done so far.

What do you do when you’re not performing or creating music?

I stare at walls a lot and feel bad about not creating anything. I spend time with my excellent friends. (not the mediocre ones). I go on dates and that kind of thing. When I get a chance, I go hang out with people I haven’t met in countries I’ve never been to. That’s my favourite thing to do besides playing songs for people.

The ultimate mix tape would contain music from…

Dan Bern, Kelly Joe Phelps, Paul Simon, Lucinda Williams, The Cure, Jeff Buckley, Joe Pug, The Weakerthans, Social Distortion, Lou Rawls, The boss, The Pogues, Tom Waits, Gillian Welch, Ryan Adams, Miles Davis, Circlesquare, Shostakovich, the Vancouver Bach Youth Choir, Iron & Wine, Goran Bregovic, Dropkick Murphys…
This would be a terrible mixtape.

Who would you love to perform with?

I got to share the stage with Dan Bern this summer, which was a dream realized. As well as Joel Plaskett. I’d say I’d like to share the stage with Tom Waits but I think it would just be weird. I’ll choose Springsteen because the guy puts on 3-hour shows for football stadiums full of screaming people- what must that be like??

What is your favourite element of performing?

I’m actually not sure. I don’t know what it is that spurs me to perform. I don’t always love it. But I feel this sort of need to do it. I suppose I like the attention. i suppose every performer does, in some way.

Are you a night owl or early bird?

If I like to sleep a lot, does that make me an early owl? I’d say I’m generally a late-night type person. But film work sometimes requires me to get up at hours like 4am so I’m kind of on my toes from time to time.

What instrument would you love to learn to play?

I wouldn’t mind knowing my way around a telescope.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Pornography.

What is one thing you would change about Vancouver?

I would dispose of the beach-buggying, uniform-wearing, smug-smiling, liquor-dumping preventers of normal, grown-up fun– my nemeses, the hated beach cops. I would make one of our beaches– just one– a Croatian style fun-beach with bars and restaurants in the sand and dancing all night. This would be the first step of many toward making Vancouver more fun. This city treats its citizenry like grade-schoolers sometimes and I think it’s preventing us from becoming a world-class city.

Where is your favourite bar stool and why?

I don’t have a regular watering hole in my hometown because I don‘t water my hole too much in Vancouver (that sounds gross). i get my drink on while on tour so i try to take it easy at home. Honourable mention goes to the Alibi Room. It’s the closest thing in Van to my favourite types of watering holes which are rural English pubs– i will take fresh cask beer, a warm, wooden room and the sound of happily drunk people talking  and laughing all around me anytime.

If you could go back in time, what era would you choose and why?

Dinosaurs! Can you imagine?? That’s a quick answer. This question raises questions– do I get to go on a sort of VIP trip with a lot of money and do really cool things? Or if I visited Elizabethan London would i be some peasant that just ends up in a dreary tavern with syphilis or something? Let’s say it’s the former– I’ll take a wadful of bills, an ability to swing-dance, whatever drug is a la mode, a sweet and sharp suit and I’ll hit the Manhattan jazz clubs in the early 40s for an all-nighter. OR I’ll be some kind of visiting Aztec dignitary in Tenochtitlan circa early 15th century– I would just kill to see what that empire looked like before the Spaniards arrived and.. that whole thing.

What inspires you on a daily basis?

I wish I was inspired on a daily basis. Sometimes I’m just a lump of shit. But I do make it a point to try to recline in the most fashionable poses.

Biggest challenge you have faced as an artist?

Myself.

Emotion you want your music to evoke from people?

A single tear. Or repeated dashboard bangs! Or a ravenous and unquenchable sexual appetite.

What are you most excited about that’s coming up?

The unkown unknowns. And hopefully a Europe tour next Fall. Also, I will be in my first play in several years in February! It’s a new work entitled Chelsea Hotel that is based on the life and work of Leonard Cohen without really being a “bio-play”. All the text of the piece are words from something he wrote. It’ll be at the Firehall Arts Centre in downtown Vancouver for the month of February.

Lessons learned from Adrian Glynn:

1. Wear comfortable and cushy clothing to an Adrian Glynn show to protect you when you fall from swooning.

2. Surround yourself with blank walls and paint them with your imagination.

3. Be true to yourself.

Don’t miss Adrian’s next show on December 8^th at the Waldorf Hotel with Louise Burns and Fine Times.

Adrian Glynn’s website
Adrian on Twitter
Adrian on Facebook

Read our other Interviews from a Bar Stool.

I was introduced to William by a friend at Coast one chilly night in September. He had that American assertiveness and confidence that can sometimes leave more timid and “nice” Canadian men on the back burner. You know what I’m talking about. American men are known to be 100 times more likely to strike up a conversation with someone than a Canadian man. Fact (based on personal experience, that is). Note to Canadian men: please approach more.

The meeting was very brief but enjoyable, making my cold evening that much warmer. I wanted to know more about him, and after some coaxing from our mutual friend, we made plans to have lunch the following day, which led to dinner, lunch, dinner and lunch again until he left to return to LA probably 10 pounds heavier after so much gluttony.

I had never met a gentleman like him before. He took it to another level. I was used to men opening doors for me and picking up the tab, but he was a gentleman reincarnated from the 40’s. He guided me away from puddles, walked on the outside of the sidewalk, and insisted upon giving me cash for taxi rides home. It was lovely. This man had not been raised in a barn, unless that barn was located in Beverly Hills.

While we had fun together and seemed to “click”, I still didn’t know if there was any future in it. Vacation fling or something more? Vacation romances have the tendency to disguise themselves as lasting passions. The urgency and rushed circumstances mask reality behind silver lined clouds, or perhaps golden rays of the sun.

It wasn’t long, two days to be exact, before William invited me to visit him in LA. Curiosity got the better of me and against my better judgment I accepted the invitation. What was I getting myself into? He was practically a stranger and here I was accepting a generous gift to spend a few days with him, 24 hours a day. For someone who ordinarily runs when commitment comes knocking, this is a daring feat. I suppose one must take risks to make gains. Clearly, he was a gentleman and his intentions were not shady. I would have my own room and knew enough about him that I was confident he wouldn’t hack me to bits in the middle of the night. Hopefully.

After just one evening in uncharacteristically chilly LA I realized the curse of vacation flings was making an example of me. I was feeling claustrophobic, and my independent spirit was getting crushed. While he was a lovely man, I just didn’t feel the chemistry that I needed. Chemistry can’t be reproduced like an Ansel Adams print. It is unique to each connection. If it’s not there, it likely will not materialize. Amongst other things, he was just too much of a traditional gentleman for me. While sticking his arm out and across my body at every red light we hit to prevent me from crashing through the windshield may make some girls swoon, it just made me feel mothered. No arm will saved me. I wanted to be able to walk on the soft strip of grass between the sidewalk and the road without it being an issue. Sometimes I even like to take unladylike leaps into puddles, sending water splashing up my leg. The spirit in me needed to be free without constraints.

On my second evening, after some cocktails laced with courage at Fig & Olive and a fiery dinner at Red O, I planned to tell William that it wasn’t meant to be. It was one of the hardest thing I’ve had to say to someone. I mean, the man had flown me to Los Angeles, had spoiled me rotten with fancy dinners, and had planned a whole weekend of activities. I felt like I would seem ungrateful but at the same time, I didn’t want to lead him on. I was turtling. I was in my shell and my truth didn’t want to come out.

It took ages for me to find the right moment to break the news, and in the end it was the women seated at the table next to ours who opened the floodgates. As they were leaving they interrupted us to say what a nice looking couple we were. Craps. I was living a lie. Here was my opening.

He took it relatively well but I still felt like a jerk. To add insult to injury, William went into a monologue listing off reasons why he had fallen for me and all the attributes about me he liked. It was torturous. Flattering yet torturous. He insisted that I shouldn’t feel bad and that we had both taken a chance. I came to realize that we should applaud ourselves for taking the risk that so many people don’t take. We had given it a shot and it hadn’t worked. No big deal. The least we could do now was have fun. No expectations. The sigh of relief I let out after our conversation could have put out forest fires.

Perhaps the ultimate gain from the experience was to see Los Angeles in a new light, not through a hotel room window but as a city I could live in. I also came away with a friend for life. Plus, the way fate ended up working on my last night in LA, perhaps my reason for being there was to make a new connection with somebody from my past. Tale pending…

My Lessons from a Bar Stool:

Lessons for the ladies:

1. Always be honest about your feelings. It may hurt someone else initially but in the long run your kindergarten teacher was right, it will always be the best policy.

2. Sometimes you have to take risks to know if something is right, whether in your career or relationship. You can make more gains taking risks than not doing anything at all.

3. Be with someone for the right reasons. A penchant for wealth, gifts and trips does not equal love; it’s got another name beginning with a G.

Lessons for the men:

1. While being a gentleman is a must, respect the woman you’re with. If she is uncomfortable with your excessive debonair manners take a step back or find a new woman.

2. Don’t take a rejection personally. In fact, don’t look at it as a rejection. It’s merely an incompatibility. Take it with grace.

3. Beware of the veiled vacation romance. Know when to leave it as that and when to pursue for more.

-SA

If you enjoyed this Tale, you may also like Indecent Proposals.

Simon is involved in countless charity events, and frequently speaks to audiences on the power of human potential, overcoming adversity, and issues related to the rare disease community

Full of charm, warmth, and a great sense of humor, he is changing the world. We asked Simon, an absolute gem of a man, for an interview right away.

What does iBellieve mean to you? 

It has been an accumulation of life experiences that has led me to pursue my life’s calling with the creation of the iBellieve Foundation.  My inner confidence and belief in myself as well as the lifelong support of my family and friends has led me to get to this point.

I am inspired by the power of one. One voice standing up for the rest. The power of one story to change the world.

Everyone can have their own iBellieve!

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

What do you want to achieve through the iBellieve Foundation?

The iBellieve Foundation is dedicated to finding a cure for Mucopolysaccharidosis II (MPS II or Hunter syndrome) through a well coordinated research effort, and to ensuring the development of improved therapies for those living with MPS II today. 

We know by finding a cure for MPS II we will be able to find cures for over 50 related Lysosomal Storage Disorders shortly thereafter.

What is Hunter syndrome/MPS II?

I have tried to put in layman terms and keep the medical jargon to a minimum, so here it goes.

Hunter syndrome, or mucopolysaccharidosis II (MPS II) is a serious genetic disorder that primarily affects males. Hunter syndrome is one of several related lysosomal storage diseases. In very basic terms, it is the body’s inability to get rid of cellular waste. Thus, the ongoing cellular buildup or storage interferes with the body’s ability to break down and recycle specific mucopolysaccharides, also known as glycosaminoglycans (GAGs).

Physical manifestations for some people with Hunter syndrome include distinct facial features, a large head, and an enlarged abdomen. People with Hunter syndrome experience hearing loss, thickening of the heart valves leading to a decline in cardiac function, obstructive airway disease, sleep apnea, and enlargement of the liver and spleen. Range of motion and mobility may also be affected. In some cases of Hunter syndrome, central nervous system involvement leads to developmental delays and nervous system problems. Not all people with Hunter syndrome are affected by the disease in exactly the same way, and the rate of symptom progression varies widely. However, Hunter syndrome is always progressive and life-limiting.

Can you tell us about the Orphan Drug Act in Canada?

Currently, there is NO Canadian Rare Disease Plan or Orphan Drug Policy. Canada is the only country in the developed world without a Federal Healthcare policy for the rare disease community. Approximately 1 in 12 Canadians suffer from one of over 7000 types of rare diseases.

What does having NO Orphan drug policy mean for 1 in 12 Canadians:

• Pharmaceutical companies have no incentive to develop therapies because individual patient populations are so small.
• It means that even when therapies DO exist, they can face delayed approval by the Federal government. Also, such therapies are so prohibitively expensive that no patient or family could possibly afford them.
• It means that even when rare therapies ARE approved by the Healthcare system; it is left to individual provinces to decide whether they will foot the bill – leaving patients prisoners in their own provinces.

What is needed is a National Healthcare Plan that encourages:

• New Drug Discovery for individual rare diseases
• A revamped process for the approval of these therapies
• A national commitment to fund their costs for individual families

To-date what has been your greatest accomplishment?

Completing the ‘Bike 4 MPS’ journey in summer 2002. By far the most grueling and exhausting thing I have ever done. I completed the journey before I started on Enzyme Replacement Therapy trial in winter of 2003.

Being nominated and then awarded the Spirit of Sport Story of the Year Award at 2003 Canadian Sport Awards for Bike 4 MPS was a true honour.

What went through your mind during the 500 kilometre bike ride?

I was always inspired by Terry Fox and his efforts with the Marathon of Hope. He was a young Canadian who wanted to raise money and awareness for cancer research. As difficult as I knew it would be, I wanted to embark on a similar journey in summer of 2002 to help raise money and awareness for Mucopolysaccharidosis (MPS). I saw my difficult ‘Bike 4 MPS’ journey as a metaphor for what MPS patients go through on a daily basis. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but completing the ride was my greatest accomplishment.

The bike ride was the stepping stone to my life’s calling to help others with MPS II, MPS, and related diseases and ultimately creating the iBellieve Foundation.

Biggest “a-ha” moment?

Attending my first MPS conference in the spring of 2002. Up until that point I had only met one other individual with MPS. I can remember walking into that conference and realizing:

• There are other individuals (and families) who could relate to my every day challenges and what it was like living with MPS II/Hunter syndrome. Not that it was ever an issue growing up, but it was nice to finally meet others who could relate. A breath of fresh air!
• Solidified my purpose in life to be a voice for those with MPS II, MPS, and all rare diseases. From the initial Bike 4 MPS, iBellieve Foundation evolved.

Do you have one person in your life that has completely changed the direction of your life?

If I could choose only one person it would definitely be my Mom. From my Hunter syndrome diagnosis at 1.5 years, she could easily have taken the doctors’ advice and let me live out my predicted short life span. My Mom knew the doctors’ advice was based on the little information known about my disease at the time; she always encouraged me to set my goals beyond my reach, and encouraged me to partake of everything the world had to offer.

My Mom never took NO for an answer and has always believed in me and my abilities. She has instilled in me so many great qualities, but the number one that thing I always mention is ‘Inclusion’. I was included in everything growing up, from school, arts, sports, and community activities, which gave me the confidence to believe in myself and not let my disease define me.

She is my rock and is always there for me. I don’t know where I would be today if she had taken the doctors’ initial advice all those years ago.   

One thing you long to do?

Write a book as well as one day have my speaking career evolve to a point where I am invited to speak at a TED Global Conference.

Your favourite place in Vancouver and Toronto to relax.

Vancouver

Having grown up in Victoria, I love the water and British Columbia geography, so Kits Beach, False Creek, Grouse Mountain, and Granville Market are some of my favourite Vancouver spots.

Toronto

My Dad always says Toronto has two seasons – winter and patio season, so I like all the great patios Toronto has to offer. Some of my favourites include: Rebel House, Czehoski, Café Doria, and the Thompson Hotel.

My best friend and I have carried out a long standing tradition for the last 12 years meeting for a “Saturday morning Java Club”. We are both coffee junkies, and enjoy the time hanging out and catching up over a weekly java. Some of favourite Toronto spots include: The Common, Ezra’s Pound, Balzac’s (Distillery), Darkhorse (Spadina), and Crafted by Tearo.

Do you have any regrets?

No, I don’t live a life of regrets. Part of maintaining a positive attitude is to accept things happen for a reason. I was given MPS II and ultimately led me to my life’s calling to do what I am now doing with the iBellieve Foundation and Be Fair 2 Rare.

How do you continue to source motivation and inspiration along the way?

I read a lot, especially non-fiction, and constantly I’m inspired by people’s personal drive and pursuit of success. Also, I am fortunate to meet a lot of people through my speaking engagements and advocacy work. People’s passion and dedication to a cause or to a family member is inspiring and solidifies why I do what I am doing with the iBellieve Foundation and Be Fair 2 Rare.

What is Be Fair 2 Rare?

Be Fair to Rare is a public outreach campaign founded and launched by the iBellieve Foundation with the Canadian Organization for Rare Disorders (CORD), aimed at raising awareness and funds for the rare disease community in Canada. Launched on International Rare Disease Day 2011 (February 28, 2011), the campaign highlighted the fact that despite 1 in 12 Canadians suffer from one of approximately 7,000 different rare diseases.

In the augural year of the campaign, Roots Canada designed a commemorative “Be Fair 2 Rare” scarf that was distributed to every MP in Parliament and worn in the House of Commons on Monday, Feb. 28, 2011. Along with the participation of a number of high profile athletes, celebrities and business leaders such as Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Adam van Koeverden, Beckie Scott, Hayley Wickenhesier, eTalk’s Tanya Kim, MTV’s The Buried Life, Martin Brodeur, and a host of others.

It is vital we raise awareness of this important issue in Canada with both policymakers and the general population. We further ask that our government continue to explore ways to support this not so rare segment of the Canadian population as it seeks equality in the eyes of our healthcare system.

What are you currently reading? Favourite book?

I always seem to have a couple books on the go at a time. Right now I am reading ‘Start with Why’ by Simon Sinek and ‘Enchantment’ by Guy Kawasaki.

If you could change one thing, what would it be?

I think my view on this type of question has changed as I have gotten older; however I would not change anything about me personally. I have an amazing life that has and continues to provide amazing opportunities, experiences, family, and friends.

However, I would change people’s perception and emphasis on physical appearance. Someone may look “different” and have a visible disability, but differences do not mean deficiencies. We need to judge people from the inside out not outside in. Just like the old saying, do not judge a book by its cover.

This is a point of frustration; especially when it comes to relationships/companionships. I know I have everything to offer in terms of a relationship, but I think society puts too much emphasis on physical appearance and image. While this is difficult emotionally, it does not hinder my confidence as I have an incredible family and many friends, but I would love to one day find a woman who would love me and vice versa and to ultimately share a life together.

“I may have a disability, but it’s not a handicap.”
– Terry Fox

Greatest life lesson learned to-date?

Work with what you have been given and don’t try to be someone you’re not. Embrace your own being and abilities and you’ll be successful in whatever you choose to do.

I love quotes and I think this one is appropriate:

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.”
- Nehru

How can people become involved in iBellieve?

Please take the time to visit the iBellieve Foundation website at www.ibellieve.com to learn more about the organization and our efforts.

We always embrace the three ‘I’: Information, Involvement, and Introduction. If you could provide any of those to support iBellieve it would be greatly appreciated.

Donations can be made at online at www.ibellieve.com and you can email questions to me at simon@ibellieve.com.

What is the best advice you would like to give to people?

Regardless of the “cards” you’ve been dealt in life, work with what you have and don’t go looking for something you’re not. Embrace your individual rarity and Dare to Be Rare™.

Believe in yourself, accept and take ownership of your capabilities, respect yourself and others  and  do what you are passionate about in life. We all have the potential, it’s just a matter if we choose to use it or not.

Lessons we learned from Simon Ibell:

1. Never give up. There is no limit to what you can succeed if you keep going.

2. Passion has the ability to achieve greatness.

3. Never judge a book by its cover. The words, thoughts and characters inside may light you up and change your life.

iBellieve Foundation
Be Fair To Rare
Simon on Twitter
iBellieve on Facebook

Read more Interviews from a Bar Stool here.

I was leaning against the cool underground tiles, lost in my emails and oblivious to my surroundings. The only alert triggered to jerk me out of my focus being the rumbling crescendo of the approaching subway train. Or so I thought. He passed me swiftly, and without stopping he asked me what my score on Angry Birds was. For a second, I wasn’t even sure that he was talking to me. If it hadn’t been for the lack of other people on the platform, I likely would not have even noticed. I was the only person he could have been speaking to.

As my focus shifted from my tiny screen to the real world, I found myself face to face with the kind of guy your father warns you about. The kind who wears a devilish smile and twinkly eyes as well as a Naval officer wears a uniform. He could have convinced anybody to do anything with those two selling features. Adding a mop of curly dark hair to the mix and he was a danger to all women, who would instantly be putty in his hands. I proceeded with caution. Excited caution. I’ve seen Risky Business. I know what the potential is for subway carriages.

Before we could speak further, the train slid into the station. I knew he would follow me into a carriage, and silently hoped he would sit next to me. He did. The next 20 minutes was a barrage of flirtatious banter. The kind of conversation that is far past small talk and lingers in a zone usually reserved for good friends or lovers. He was visiting from Los Angeles, originally from Toronto, and like me was due to fly home the next day.

We immediately got into the subject of dating, specifically the difference between men and women in LA and Vancouver. It was a conversation I had had several times before, and he merely validated what other men had revealed. He had been on date after date with Playboy bunnies, Penthouse pets and aspiring actresses, saying that they had all seemed like empty shells. Finding a woman with the full package in his town was more difficult than finding a miniature Waldo in Dodger Stadium. This all led me to wonder why he wouldn’t just change his routine and meet girls in different environments. Surely not all women in LA fit into that Barbie stereotype, and clearly this man had the balls to strike up a conversation anywhere with anybody. If only more people took the subway in LA.

My stop was nearing and I didn’t want to end the conversation. In a few short minutes, I had just skimmed the surface of his life story and I wanted to move beyond the Cole’s Notes. As though reading my mind, he got off with me, one stop earlier than his. As we walked to the street, he hastily inserted my number into his phone. He wanted to meet up with me later for a drink. We both had dates we were on our way to and found the humour in a late night post-date date. I felt oddly comfortable around him and let myself divulge details I wouldn’t ordinarily let escape from my lips so early on. It’s the magic of being in a different city that allows me to just be me. The time limit rushes things along.

On the pavement, he remarked on my towering height. It was a flirtatious dig and I struck back with one of my own. As we teased each other about our height difference, a woman who was handing out promotional materials approached, and as if on cue said, “You are one tall woman”, as she handed us a sample of shampoo. My Casanova took this opportunity to develop a story that he knew I would play along with. We were engaged. Getting married that coming weekend at Niagara Falls, yet thinking of calling it off as we couldn’t reach an agreement over whether I could wear high heels during the ceremony, effectively depleting his manhood. She bought it. Our lies got deeper and deeper. Details became more real and I fell into character. The poor woman didn’t know who she was dealing with. We were playing a game with each other. How far could each of us take our stories. It was called foreplay.

We hugged good bye and I felt his hand squeeze my waist hungrily. Despite never meeting up later in the night (my first date ran later than predicted), I knew it wasn’t the last I would see of him. Thank you, Facebook.

My lessons from a subway:

Lessons for the ladies:

1. Don’t let yourself become so lost in your phone that you forget to notice the people around you.

2. Maintain your free-spirited travel mindset when you’re at home.

3. Scheduling two dates in one night is merely efficient time planning. Time is precious.

Lessons for the men:

1. Talk to women everywhere. Meeting girls should not be reserved for bars.

2. Some gentle teasing can be excellent foreplay but don’t let it be misconstrued for insults.

3. If you have curls, let them grow. Women want to run their hands through them.

~SA

If you enjoyed this Tale, you may also like Sunsets and Martinis.

It was just the other evening that I met a youngster so backward thinking that it may be too late to reverse any of the damage.

I was out with a dear friend, K, a gentleman who I just don’t get to see as often as I’d like. He knows of both my alter egos and when I suggested he join me at an event filled with the colourful men who inspired the creation of Tales from a Bar Stool, he couldn’t help but come. It would be chock-a-block with men in suits, inflated egos and the smell of money. It was a life I had left behind but had been invited back to one last time (until the next time, that is). After a bit of lubrication in the form of Jameson’s at a nearby bar, we entered the swanky hotel arm in arm.

Looking around I realized I knew a good handful of people there, including past hook ups and current crushes, sleazeballs and top businessmen. It was a smorgasbord of men, good and bad. Some waved at me and others just eyeballed. Included in the eyeballing group was one man who still elicits a flock of butterflies to flutter about my belly. We had engaged in a few months of dirty emails, texts and looks, which had culminated in an intense midday elevator makeout rendering me utterly useless for the rest of the work day. We now keep our distance from each other, only allowing our eyes to bashfully meet. He is now married. Enough said.

After some hellos and small talk, we ordered one last beverage for the road. While sipping on our heady brown liquids a guy next to us struck up conversation. I think he was lost. Lost in that he had no idea what women wanted. Was this his age speaking or his general mentality?

The conversation started with him stating that he was a bad lover. A statement that no one should ever allow slip from their lips except in the presence of their therapist or bestest friend. I immediately interrupted him and asked why he would say such a thing, particularly to a stranger. It seemed his low self-esteem was battling with his ego and he tried to back track his comment by saying that he had no trouble getting girls into his bed but there was rarely a round two.

This initial dialogue opened up the flood gates. I almost asked him to leave his bar stool for the comfort of the couch, somewhere he could lay back and dish out all his woes. Not knowing how to help the fellow with his “techniques” besides suggesting a test drive and some hands on schooling, I told him to get some more experience and communicate with his lovers. The next admission from his lips made K and I almost spit out our precious fluids. He claimed that all girls want commitment and he didn’t want to hurt any feelings by leading anyone on. Um… what? Commitment? This poor ill-informed boy thought that all women wanted a relationship.

He then confessed that if he hasn’t had a relationship by the age of 26 or isn’t married by the age of 32, he’ll be a failure. Again… what? The guy was in much more dire straits than originally thought. Could anything we say change such ingrained retrograde fundamentals? Was he doomed? K and I both found ourselves getting angry at the lad. Heads were turning towards us as our voices rose with passion.

We couldn’t take anymore. We’d tried our best to change his ways but he just didn’t want to see the light. I wondered if I was this clueless and resolute at his young age, and hoped that experience and years would change his outlook. Looking back, I suppose in my early 20’s I did always think I would be married by my age, but I always knew that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I wasn’t. I never had a deadline, and I’ve never been happier. We drank our final sips and dashed out between rain drops to a taxi waiting to take us to the next party.

My lessons from a bar stool:

Lessons for the Ladies:

1. If you’re faced with a bad lover, don’t just leave him for the next girl. Try to communicate and educate. It’s your duty.

2. A person has to want to change. You can’t go changing anybody unless they realize this.

3. Find yourself a fine gentleman for your close friend circle. Every girl should have someone who makes them feel like a woman.

4. Always find the time to indulge in an elevator make out.

Lessons for the Men:

1. Not all girls want to be in a relationship. You’ll be surprised at how many independent women there are out there.

2. There are no time limits in the game of life. It is what you make it, whether you’re a bachelor for life or married out of high school. Just live.

3. Be confident in your abilities. If you think you’re a bad lover you will be. Turn your thinking around and you’ll be astounded at your hidden talents.

~SA

If you enjoyed this Tale, you may also enjoy With a Little Help from my Friends.

We were there for the launch of Xi Shi (pronounced Shee Shee), the revamped lobby lounge. If there’s one thing we love, it’s hotel bars. With an endless stream of international visitors combined with business men and fashionable locals, they’re the perfect spot for people watching. And that’s exactly what I was in the mood for on Wednesday.

After obtaining a deliciously mixed Iron Lotus martini from talented barman Jay Jones, we scanned the room and drank it all. Setting the scene was The Max Zipursky Trio mesmerizing guests with seductive jazz. The handsome Max Zipursky was on the piano, accompanied by a beautifully exotic woman on vocals and a spicy sax player. They were phenomenal. Live music is always exponentially better than a DJ.

Servers were milling about the lavish room wearing chic traditional Asian dress inspired by 1930’s Shanghai. There was a buzz throughout as guests chatted and mingled. I was pleasantly surprised to see that people were circulating and not just staying within their social circles. Friendships were being made, and perhaps romances were blossoming like a Lotus.

While WT initiated a conversation with another guest who had an eerily similar life story to hers, my eyes landed on a table occupied by two intriguing characters. They were dressed with the kind of flare one does not ordinarily see in Vancouver. The older gentleman had on a perfectly tailored suit, extravagant pocket square, colourful shirt and red Panama hat; while the younger had an air about him that whispered sophistication and worldliness. They looked fantastic and were the kind of men who you instantly wonder about. What do they do? What’s their story? Before I could muster the courage to join their table, my thoughts were interrupted by a lone man.

He was a friend who kept surprising me. My initial impression of him had quickly been replaced by a much deeper analysis. Each moment I spent with him made me want more. He had a depth and soul that I hadn’t seen in the beginning. It’s funny how people reveal themselves in stages. How they have an initial façade before allowing anyone to see who they really are. It’s like peeling away the layers of an onion.

We dissected the crowd together and spoke about the psychology of perception, first impressions and image. We discussed how we allow others to see us, how everyone has a choice to stand out or blend in. I told him who I had initially thought he was, and he was well aware of the image he showed the world, yet wasn’t ready to reveal his true self from the get go. It was not the kind of conversation one usually has at a cocktail party, and I became so lost in the moment that I forgot about the people around me and just focused on him.

What seemed like hours later, but in reality was merely 20 minutes, I was jolted back to the party as WT motioned that it was time to go. We had another party to attend. Wednesday nights are quickly filling up our social calendars. My friend and I embraced and kissed cheeks, strands of my hair getting caught in his stubble. We made plans to meet again soon in a more intimate setting to continue our conversation. I had peeled yet another layer away that night at the Xi Shi Lounge.

Lessons I learned from the launch of Xi Shi Lounge:

1. Everything old is new again. The past feeds the present with inspiration and ideas.

2. Never judge a book by its cover. Perception can be manipulated and distorted so that it is sometimes the exact opposite of truth.

3. The Xi Shi Lounge is sure to be one of the hottest hotel bars in town. Perhaps we will see you there…

~SA

Xi Shi Lounge
1128 West Georgia Street